Time for a new career

    Britain Today
    Von Colin Beaven

    Clearly, the only way to be happy in a world where so many things go wrong is to find out as much as you can about the lives of famous people. And there’s no shortageMangelshortage of information: newspapers, magazines and websites are all obsessedbesessenobsessed with “celebrities”.

    We should be grateful, of course. If we didn’t read about famous people, our lives would be empty and meaningless. Seeing them is even better, so it’s good to watch chat shows on television.

    If we didn’t read about famous people, our lives would be empty and meaningless

    Most guests on chat shows are actors. Why? They’re only actors. We get dozens of interviews with actors, but not very many with people who grow food, build houses, collect rubbish, work on a sewage farmReiselfeldsewage farm, save lives in the health service or teach children to read and write.

    How to pretend you met Colin Firth

    Still, chat shows to lift sb.’s spiritsdie Stimmung hebenlift our spirits, because they give us information about stars from film and theatre — or do they just make us depressed? All they really do is remind us that we don’t know stars personally. After all, if we can't pick up the phone to ask Daniel Craig or Keira Knightley whether they to fancy sth. (UK ifml.)auf etwas Lust habenfancy a game of darts at the pub, our life is incomplete.

    Fortunately, even if you don’t see celebrities in the flesh and are worried because you don’t know anyone famous, there’s an easy way to to cheer sb. upjmdn. aufheiterncheer yourself up: you can pretend. When the man in front of you at the checkout in the supermarket looks a bit like Colin Firth, you can pretend he really is Colin Firth. When you see a woman who looks a bit like Helen Mirren returning her library books, you can pretend she really is Helen Mirren.

    It’s worth remembering, that when a person looks exactly like someone famous, the person may actually be someone famous.

    It makes a good game when you’re sitting in a cafe. Recently, for example, I thought I had a winner: I to score a doubleeinen doppelten Erfolg erzielenscored a double when I saw a man who looked like Walter Matthau with a wife who looked like Tony Curtis. (Perhaps I should to clarifyerklären, klarstellenclarify that I’m thinking of Tony Curtis when he was dressed as a woman in Some Like It Hot.)

    My own wife scored maximum points, of course, when she saw someone who looked exactly like the Duke of Edinburgh.

    It’s worth remembering, however, that when a person looks exactly like someone famous, there may be a reason: the person may actually be someone famous.

    Perfect timing

    For example, my wife and I were in a restaurant when a man walked in who looked exactly like Sir Derek Jacobi. Jacobi is one of Britain’s best-known actors, who has been famous on the stage and in film since the 1970s and who has won many prizes. The restaurant was quite busy, and the man was clearly looking for a table. My wife and I had just finished, so we got up and offered him ours. “We are about to leave,” we told him.

    “Perfect timing!” he replied. When he spoke, we realized it really was Derek Jacobi.

    Needless to say, timing is crucialentscheidend, essentiellcrucial if you hope to become a successful actor. I never really thought I’d be much good on the stage, but if Jacobi thinks I’ve got what it takes, who am I to to contradictwidersprechencontradict him? After all, how many of the actors you see on chat shows could put that on their CV (curriculum vitae)LebenslaufCVs? “Derek Jacobi says I’ve got perfect timing.”

    It seems that I’m going to be a famous actor after all. Happy days are here again!

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