Entering the United States

You don't know what red tape is until you try to register as a legal alien resident in the United States. Bill Bryson wrote all about it in Notes from a Big Country: "Acquiring legal status in America involves fingerprints, medical examinations, blood tests, letters of affidavit, birth and marriage certificates, employment records, proof of financial standing, and much else." Luckily, if you're just visiting the country, things are so much easier. You don't even need a visa. However, you do need to apply online with ESTA, the Electronic System for Travel Authorization (see Spotlight Online for details).

The next hurdle to take is when you actually cross the border into the US. Follow all rules. And no humour, please. You could get into serious trouble with the immigration officers if you make a joke about security or drugs. Oh, and don't do anything that could surprise them, the way my husband and I did coming across the border from Canada by car: Following a pressing need, we ran to the loo... followed by two officers with drawn guns!

So how do you get across the border without getting stressed out? We've got a vocabulary exercise for you with the most important chunks of language you need to know so that you can keep a cool head and say "yes" and "no" in all the right places. Ready? Grab your bags, have your ticket and your passport handy, and let's go. Next page!

Anne Hodgson