The English of Lena and Dean

"Like a satellite, I'm in an orbit all the way around you." So sang Lena Meyer-Landrut on Saturday night in Oslo on her way to winning the Eurovision Song Contest for Germany with "Satellite". Her energy was infectious, her diction was perfect, her intonation was faultless and her accent, which hovered somewhere between Hannover and the Thames Estuary, added to her charm.

Let's now compare Lena's English to that of British football commentator Dean Windass. In this video clip, he's talking about a Premier League match between Everton and Portsmouth.

Did you understand that? Some people, however, have no idea what Windass is talking about, which is why Today's Big Thing included the clip under the headline "Soccer Reporter Invents New Kind of English". But — and this is what makes the common language of Lena and Dean so fascinating — anyone familiar with the Hull dialect of Yorkshire English and who knows a bit of footballer jargon will understand him perfectly. For example, when Windass says "He sends Jagielka for a pie", he means that the Portsmouth forward Frédéric Piquionne sent Everton midfielder Phil Jagielka the wrong way.

English? It's as easy as pie. Just ask Lena.