My favourite mistake

I've known my friend, Lolo, for years, but when I first got to know her, I had to get used to her idiosyncracies. For example, she would often ask me what day it was. When I answered, "Wednesday," she would then always say, "Ah, Wednesday. Then tomorrow is Thursday." She always tells you what the day after will be. Always.

Another thing she always says whenever there is any mention of wind (either the weather kind or the flatulent kind) is "The windy what blowsn't!" Then she laughs. When I first got to know her, I would laugh, too. Politely. I had no idea what the hell she was going on about. The windy what blowsn't? What?

But then we went to Scotland on holiday together and there was a lot more wind — of the weather variety. So I had to ask her what she was talking about.

"What do you mean when you say, 'The windy what blowsn't'?"

"You don't know?"

"No."

"Well," she began, "When I was at school, in our English lesson, one day we had to translate a few sentences. One of the sentences was Der Wind, der nicht weht. The boy I sat next to in class put up his hand and said: 'The windy what blowsn't.' And that's why I always say it."

I think it's one of the most beautiful almost-English sentences I've heard. It's one of my favourite mistakes!

The correct translation would be "The wind that doesn't blow." You can't really get around using the auxiliary verb "do" or "does" when you construct a negative sentence or a question in the present simple, even if it sometimes sounds poetic when you do.