I'm no awa tae bide awa

You'll have to do without me for the next three weeks. I'm going on holiday to Scotland.

This year, Scotland is celebrating Homecoming Scotland — to mark the 250th anniversary of the birth of Robert Burns and to call all Scots to come home. For me, that's the north-east coast of Scotland. Here's what The Rough Guide to Scotland has to say about the town where I went to school:

"Unless you have a particular penchant for baked bean factories and power stations, Peterhead, the most easterly mainland town in Scotland, is best avoided."

It's certainly not the most picturesque town, but when I'm home, I do go to Peterhead — for fish and chips. It's the largest white-fish port in Europe, and you can eat fish caught just a few hours earlier. Big, juicy flakes of cod in batter, surrounded by chips moist with tangy malt vinegar and salt: there's nothing better.

As well as eat fish and chips, I have a list of other things I'd like to do:

1. Go to as much as possible at the Edinburgh Festival.
2. Walk along the beach at North Berwick.
3. Have tea and scones at Pitmedden Gardens.
4. Visit the beautiful gardens at Crathes Castle.
5. See the games and watch the March of the Clansmen at The Lonach.

But, as we say in Scots: "I'm no awa tae bide awa!" In English: I'm not (going) away to stay away. When I've done everything on my list, I'll be back — on 26 August. With a surprise!