Don't call me "madam"!

I was staying at a friend's house in Edinburgh while she was away. I had trouble getting back into the house one day, because the Yale lock was faulty. So I had to break the window.

Well, now I was in, but I had to get the lock and the glass fixed. I called a local glazier's and asked whether they could come and fix it. The man on the other end of the phone said it would cost 60 pounds. I asked whether that included painting the new frame.

"We don't do painting, madam!" he replied.

He said this in such a condescending tone of voice, he might as well have said, "We don't do painting, you idiot!" The use of "madam" immediately put distance between me and the man on the other end of the phone. With one word, he was telling me I'd gone too far.

That was the first time anyone had called me "madam". The second time was in London. I had just bought a cup of coffee, and the barista handed me my change and said, "Here you are, madam." It just didn't feel right. The occasion was far too informal and I wasn't wearing a fancy hat. "Madam" should be reserved for grand ladies who wear fancy hats. Like the ladies at Ascot!

I much prefer being addressed as "love" or "dear". I was less bothered by a drunk who asked me, "Excuse me, love. Have you got a light?" on a recent train journey than by that window man. Indeed, I was quite impressed that he could be so polite and friendly, but yet not stand up straight.

To a youngish, down-to-earth woman like myself, the only thing worse than being called "madam" is being called "sir".