Comedy awards

Loaded magazine presented its annual comedy awards — the Laftas — in London last night. The Laftas cover live comedy, film, TV, the internet and newspaper columns.

The winner in the funniest joke category was comedian Tim Vine:

"Conjunctivitis.com: that's a site for sore eyes.

Tim Vine's stand-up act consists mainly of one-liners and puns. Vine won the award for the best joke at the Edinburgh Fringe in 2010 with the line:

"I've just been on a once-in-a-lifetime holiday. I'll tell you what: never again."

Here he is trying to tell more than nine jokes in a minute. See if you get them all.

The other nominees in the Laftas' funniest joke category were:

"I know a couple who get on like a house on fire. They both feel trapped and are slowly suffocating to death."
— Jimmy Carr

"I was playing chess with my friend and he said, 'Let's make this interesting.' So we stopped playing chess."
— Matt Kirshen

"I said to a fella, 'Is there a B&Q in Henley?' He said, 'No. There's an H, an E, an N, an L and a Y.'"
— Paul Daniels

"My mother told me, 'You don't have to put anything in your mouth you don't want to.' Then she made me eat broccoli, which felt like double standards."
— Sarah Millican